Cheerleading

I never thought of joining the cheerleading team in high school. In fact, that was the last thing I ever thought of. It did not matter that my boarding school forced us to choose a sport each year. I was never going to be one of those Perky Pam's who smile despite the fact that our team may be loosing.

So you can imagine my surprise and utter shock when I dreamt I tried out for the squad a few nights ago.

I was standing in the middle of  Maplebrook High's gym. All the current cheerleaders were standing to the right of me, watching. For some reason, I could not think of any cheers to do. I tried to recall the ones heard in the Bring It On movie and got nothing, tried to remember the school's simple but catchy calls and got nada.

I had to do something, so in a panic I moved my arms. I shot them up first, slapped them to my sides, and then...for a reason I can't seem to understand, I stared to flail them. They moved about in so many ways that I looked like a cartoon tree with dancing limbs. When I finally stopped I knew I messed up.

But, as I stood there defeated, one of the popular girls came over.
"You need to try this!" she said, lifting her skirt. It was then that I woke up, the image of her underside embossed on my brain. For the sake of sanity I'll leave out the exact details of what I saw, but I will add that it was not pretty. Hopefully I'll have better dreams tonight.  Hopefully.